just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
