Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
