I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
