I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
