I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
