I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
