For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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