I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
