he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
3 2 1 whiskey
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
