It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize