I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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