You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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