Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
