you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
