btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
