I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize