Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
