ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
