I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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