dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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