"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wear drunk well.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
