i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize