pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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