How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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