Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
