She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
