the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
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