Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
