A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
