This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
