he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
