oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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