Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
