Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
