Yo dont text me then not text me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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