Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
