Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
