I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
