yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she smelled like a LAN party
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
