So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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