Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
