just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
