Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
