just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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