Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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