So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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