Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
