whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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