girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
