it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
