I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We were destined to go to rehab together
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize