Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
