Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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