Christians are straight up FREAKS
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize