im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
