You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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