i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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