honey bunches of taint.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize