i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize