Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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