I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
