I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
