Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you didnt know i had herpes?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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