Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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