Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
