Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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