apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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