Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like a drive thru vagina
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize