At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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