Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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