Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
