Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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