did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I had to cum in my sink.
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