I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
