The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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