That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
