so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
