His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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