The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it because I queefed?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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