Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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