i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
