He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize